Agony Uncle (2)

The second of my Agony Uncle columns what I wrote for Redbrick Lifestyle in my mis-spent youth:

I made out with someone at a nightclub when I was drunk. Now she keeps texting me and pestering me. I don’t want anything serious, but I also don’t want to hurt their feelings. What should I do?

So, some guilt-free snogging turned out to be not-so guilt free. I have limited sympathy for you, I’m afraid. About the same level of sympathy I have for Conservative Party candidates who lose an election. I can try and be empathetic, but I did not really approve of their cause in the first place.

Still, we have all done things when drunk and then regretted it. Once, for instance, I got a little tipsy and joined the Labour Party. Now I have let my membership lapse, for a few reasons. I won’t bore you with the details, because this column is meant to be about your emotional problems not my political ones. Still, it’s the same sort of issue – you are getting texts from a lady you once snogged, I am getting letters asking me to renew my Labour party membership. It is a similar conundrum.

For my part, I keep my relationship with Labour on good terms, as a critical but loyal friend. The question is, what terms do you want to be on with this woman. I’m guessing from your query that a relationship is out of the question. Do you actually want to be friends with her at all?

Hardly likely, because you know nothing about her apart from the fact that she kisses strangers when drunk. If you genuinely don’t want to see her again, you could just wait for the texting to stop.

And if it doesn’t, you could always change your phone number.

Though that seems a little drastic, and not quite the gentle put down I’m sure you’d like to give her, because you are a friendly person, after all.

Just text her back, saying you don’t want a relationship and you’re sorry if she got the wrong idea. If you want to be really nice, you could ask her for a drink as friends just to clear the air. Just don’t get drunk and snog her then, or we’ll have a rather vicious circle.

This entry was posted in Amusing asides and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Agony Uncle (2)

  1. Joy says:

    Good advice, UA!! Too bad the chap has the texting function on his cell phone….

  2. You are the only Agony Uncle who could so flawlessly weave a political allegory into a story of a drunken makeout sesh. Your talents are wasted…wherever you are. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s